Everything is much more interesting with tequila

282,596 notes

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

(Source: itssexualhour, via lostingh)

8,517 notes

humansofnewyork:

"My mom died in August.""What was your favorite thing about her?""Her sense of humor.""What was the time you most appreciated her sense of humor?""Probably when I was in high school and she walked in on my girlfriend and I going at it. I was too embarrassed to go back home, so she called my girlfriend, and asked to speak to me. When I got on the phone, she said: ‘Bet you went soft pretty quick there, huh?’"

humansofnewyork:

"My mom died in August."
"What was your favorite thing about her?"
"Her sense of humor."
"What was the time you most appreciated her sense of humor?"
"Probably when I was in high school and she walked in on my girlfriend and I going at it. I was too embarrassed to go back home, so she called my girlfriend, and asked to speak to me. When I got on the phone, she said: ‘Bet you went soft pretty quick there, huh?’"

(via rtrjiros)